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Wife not trusting her lovely husbandThis forum post has messages dated from 06/17/09 through 02/19/10, please be sure to read all the messages. If you feel it is old or outdated, please follow up with a question or comment and someone may be able to update it, or reply with newer information if you have it. - Marriage Counseling
| Wife not trusting her lovely husbandI am having a problem from day one with my wife after marriage.. Especially mother-in-law issue, selfishness and dominating character..And also she could not tolerate "NO" immediately that leads her either tryingto commit sucide or getting anger on it till the end. She is also going through the phschatric treatment and now again she has the same issues.. My wife is a working lady.. we have a loveable kid (after a long convince with her to have baby).. but she said is strictly against going for second baby..we have a cooking lady, cleaning people and her father is with us most of the time since she is not good lot of the above stuff. Ofcourse, I need to admin my parents family is not a good decision making family and jealous all over there at my parents family circle.. I am staying away with that and focusing on taking care of my parents only..she also taking care of her family and there is no issues.. Currently, when we have to write a "will deed", she want to put her brother name to take care of the kid after her death.. this is something I could not digest and making me to think what kind of life I am running so far with her.. She don't have a trust on me but I am the one taking care of all the family expenses ad her money goes on the investment which it is not relevant to me.. I would like to take some firm decision here.. any help would be appreciated.. |
| Because you are the one to make the final decision, the initial decision to arrive at something concrete entirely rests on you. Your wife's behaviour points towards you not being her favourite anymore. I wonder if there are other brawls you have had before..other couples would have considered divorce by now. I hope you got enough time to court coz then you would have handled issues like how many kids you wanted to have. See a marriage counsellor. |
| Quite a sad situation. There seem to be trust issues in all these. Try to do you all you can to bring the situation under control and get to mend any 'damaged fences.' You are her saving grace. How you handle the whole situation will determine how things end. If you have rapport with the brother, let him find out whatever is the matter. Discussing ways to get her out of that condition is the only way out. |
| I feel bad about your wife not having trust over you. If it is okay to you i want to ask some personal question, Do you treat your wife nice? I mean, are you not having any elicit affair with other woman that makes her feel that way towards you? IF you know in your self that you are not having any affair and your conscience is clean, then i think your wife is just silly and fall out of love from you. |
| Husbands and wives are always going to have major disputes because this is what human nature is all about. Ever since Eve and Adam, man simply would not trust woman to the fullest extent, and vice versa. It has turned into an endless game of torture and torment. |
| Though, this is not always the case, certainly, it happens quite often, than not. |
| I suggest that you try to talk to your wife over that matter. Tell her that she is already your wife in case she had forgotten that, and that her mother would be the second one to be in control of the situation now that you and her are married. This situation are always present on mostly every partners, both married and not, we all just have to avoid this. |
| There is no one else that can make things work but you and your wife. Try to talk to her over the matter and seek for some answers on how you guys can go back to what everything used to be. When people get angry they tend to forger the important thing that they should have thought of doing from the very beginning, it is to talk. Nothing more nothing less. |
| You are not the only one who is suffering with that situation, I happen to experience the same. My mother seems to be not in favor with me marrying my wife, but I love my wife and I love my mother as well. What shall I do, I do not want to choose between the two of them since I love them both. And my wife, I do not want her to have fight with my mother. |
| Hi there Nilo, you know what? That situation of yours is very common yet very hard to deal with. It is a family problem, so it is not only you who should make things work but also you should get the participation of the other members of the family. Try to make your mother and your wife talk. Let them open up their feelings over the situation. Good luck and have a nice day. |
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