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'Falling back in Love when the trust is gone' Marriage Counseling

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Falling back in Love when the trust is gone

This forum post has messages dated from 08/14/09 through 05/31/10, please be sure to read all the messages. If you feel it is old or outdated, please follow up with a question or comment and someone may be able to update it, or reply with newer information if you have it.

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Tx

Falling back in Love when the trust is gone

Thank author of this post/commentMy husband and I have been married for 13 and a half yrs, but we've been a couple for 21. We were inseperable and I never thought of being with anyone else but him. He was the love of my life. Eight years ago though, he went through some sort of mid life crisis and took our income tax money and moved out while I was at work. Literally, I came home and he was gone..left a note saying " we were not robbed, do not call the police, I have moved out".

At the time we had only one child who was four. Sad thing is, I knew that something was happening but he wouldn't talk to me. I found numbers(cell, home and work) as well as a girls bday listed on a piece of paper in his wallet. A woman we both went to school with, and when I questioned him as to why she gave him that much information he said.."I don't know she just wrote it all down". I'm not a total idiot, you don't just write down all that info for someone you were just high school friends with. Anyhow, he swears to this day that nothing happened before he left. However, within a month maybe less of him leaving, she and him were "dating". He worked nights at the time and he'd sleep at her place during the day. I asked him a million times why..he just said he didn't know, he just felt like he had to be alone and that was his reason for leaving.

I felt like my world was crumbling around me, I felt worthless and like there must have been something wrong with me that I couldn't keep my husband. Long story short, after a month of begging for a reason why and crying(me), he said that he wanted a divorce. That was it, closure, for me..I could finally move on with what was left of my life. I started dating and actually felt like a human being again. It honestly felt wonderful and even had a sort of healing effect to be seen as attractive by other men besides my husband. He left in March and we both started divorce proceedings in June. When he realized that I was moving on and seeing other men, I think he "woke up", if that's what you call it. All of a sudden, he was making promises and telling me how much he still loved me and the thought of me seeing someone else was making him sick. So we started "dating", but I wasn't limiting myself to just dating him. In November however, I found myself pregnant, so we decided to give it another go. Two children later, we are still trying.

I am finding it hard though, to love him the way I once did. I find myself wondering what if? I had feelings for someone else at the time, but chose to stay with my husband for our child and one on the way. Don't get me wrong, I do love him, I just don't know if I am still "in love" with him. How do I get back what we once had or even something new? I don't want to think about "what if", I want to be a family with my kids and my husband. I want to feel attracted to him again.

#1

braun

When it is that trust is gone in a relationship, falling back into love is indeed a very hard thing for a couple to do.
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