'Can you fall back in love again?'

custommade from OKC (Contact Member) -

I'm new to message boards, so i'm hopeful that I can find help here. My husband and I are really having trouble connecting, but we both truly want our family to survive this and be happy in the end. How do you get there? I really can't figure it out. I know everything about this man, yet I can't make myself let my guards down to actually "feel" again. It seems like a lifetime ago since i've felt passion. Please give me the answer somebody!

Comment #1 Joyce and or Adam from USA (Contact Member) -

You can fall in love again. You have

answered your question in part where you

say:

"yet I can't make myself let my guards down to actually "feel" again."

You are suppressing your emotions but you did not

state as to why. What happened? How long have you been

married?

Adam

• ThePhonePsychic.com

Comment #2 terrell (63.176.159.184) -

it is hard to feel what your feeling.. i know.. i am in the same boat right now, but not having kids involved. if "it" isnt there anymore who knows if it will ever be again.. you try to push eachother to do certain things to maybe change your negative feelings to fall "back" in love.. but sometime that can get exhausting and actually push you away moe..

Comment #3 Shanah (63.176.159.211) -

There are a couple of things you need to clear up with us with in order for us to help you. What happened along the way for you to say "myself let my guards down to actually "feel" again"? How long have you been together? What is your religion (if any)? How old are your children? And where do you live (What culture)?

Comment #4 jay from LA (Contact Member) -

I have been married for 10 years separated for 7 months and my wife just trets me like her baby sitter, I know we had problems and I have been giving her space, but I started to do this about a couple months ago. She says she has not feelings for me at this moment, I have read books that tell me to be patient, forgive and love her, that I have to heal myslef first, But will this really work??

Comment #5 hotmom-ma (63.176.159.148) -

Usually couples are like this, after five or later years love starts to wear off if not properly taken care of. It is avoidable but eventually inevitable in nature and what partners should generally do is to talk to each other, sort things out in a peaceful and open kind of a way. If it still doesn't work out, then try marriage councilors or other experts help if you wanted to save your marriage and the future of your children and family.

Comment #6 danny (63.176.159.51) -

jay i think you should just move on and let her see that your doing so. maybe she will come to her senses. she is just using you as her pawn.

Comment #7 Thomas (63.176.159.53) -

Has anything gotten better? What going on with you custommade?

Comment #8 Alicia (63.176.159.228) -

Did you try going to counseling or maybe taking a romantic get away with each other and try rediscovering each other and the things you love about one another, you can fall in love again it just takes time and work. Good Luck.

Comment #9 Jackie (63.176.159.42) -

Yeah I would defiantly try going to councling together, it might help you out a lot. If your relationship is to the point where you fight a lot then you might find yourself bickering a lot during your session, but if you want to be together bad enough you should be able to get though it.

Comment #10 Elyse (63.176.159.196) -

It takes time and dedication to be willing to put in the work to make your marriage/relationship work and last a long time. I always said once you have been with someone for over ONE year its downhill from there, and can quickly slip away if you do not put in the time and work. If you have children it makes it even harder. You just have to take time out, like one day a week/month and make that day just all about one another.

Comment #11 jrob (69.142.253.144) -

I been married for 10 years and three kids, my stated she loves me but not in love with me. She asked for space and its hard for me because i believe in staying together through the storm and hold on. I gave her space but i am planning on moving to another state where i own a home and live there. she is not cool with it, cause now i am involve with them and they need me and want my help ( the kids too). I trying to wait but i think its impossible to get back together with someone if ur apart. she claims she lost something during the way and our marrige ran its course. we went to counsling and she cried and didnot want a divocre, but space

Comment #12 Nhiecole (63.176.159.209) -

You can still fall back in love again if you to try it a second time. It is not something you can do alone. Love is like "Tango" were it takes the two of you to dance successfully. what if you keep on opening up for him but he does not make any effort or move to win you back, or he is working hard to win you back but you are not opening up. Talk about it first.

Comment #13 connie (63.176.159.168) -

LOve. This word have a lot of meaning as well as it have lots of obligations tagged with it. If you love then be ready to be hurt. It is because when you love you are giving that person (the one you love) all the right to hurt you. The only assurance you can get that you will not broke up or the relationship would remain as it is from the start, is to MAKE SURE YOU ARE LOVABLE..

Please do not expect your partner to still love you if you are horrifyingly, devastatingly ugly INSIDE and OUT..

Comment #14 Jasmine (63.176.159.35) -

I agree with what connie's opinion. Sometimes we just blame it to our partner if the relationship got out of track. Some people seldom see their fault, they always point the blame to their wife, husband, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend blah blah blah. In relatinships wether it is romantic or friendship it is very important to be attached to your partner, which means you have to know him or her in all angles, so when times of misunderstanding occurs, you guys can fis things up right away, time may be a good ingredient but i always believe in "talking" and being "sensitive" to our partners feelings and views.

Comment #15 crystal from asia (Contact Member) -

You can still move on together. It's normal to have some difficulties because of differences. Both of you should work it out. It's like, both of you are a team. Give and take as they say. It's a common cliche but it's really true. Both of you must talk everytime a conflict occurs so that both sides could be cleared.

Comment #16 Eva (63.176.159.40) -

Talk talk talk.. this is the oldest yet effective way to work things out. People fight and that is constant for we are considered "individuals", means we are individually different (so what's the point?)

The point is due to this individuality, we are prone to misunderstanding and eventually fighting.. But let this individuality not hinder us from getting along together well and in harmony.

Talk talk talk..this is the only way to work things out..

Comment #17 Bruno (63.176.159.17) -

Yes, i have to agree with that view there Eva. I have to admit that most of the time i myself build a strong wall between me and my wife when we fight. I seem to be a little scared on what will be the outcome. I do not want us to be separated that is why when she is already angry, i avoid her so that the fight would not further cause any more damage.

I guess i have to face her and talk things out with her.

Comment #18 Estrella (63.176.159.207) -

I do believe that individuality does not necessarily pushes us or the reason behind us fighting. I think it is how we view things that makes us disapprove over our partner's decision that makes us fight. I think and strongly believes that to be able to make a relationship work, we have to know what makes each other mad and prevent it from happening. You can always have a constant talk over things and never loose faith to each other.

Comment #19 Olive (63.176.159.17) -

We are jsut people, we tend to loose passion and connection. This feeling is normal, it is like seeing the same movie over and over again. This problem is one of the reasons couple looses attraction towards the other, and i think being in a relationship, you should do something to prevent this to happen.

You can demand for a space if you want, but do not let the relationship got destroyed. Not like that.

Comment #20 Chakira (63.176.159.170) -

We can all fall back into love again, if we do our part and work things out. It requires both sides team work to make that happen. Though it has been said so many times now, i still opt to suggest that couples should talk, talk, talk and talk... Never ever loose connection and try to connect with each other, mutual understanding is not enough. You need to clear things up.

Comment #21 Ana (63.176.159.35) -

Falling back into love is a little too hard to do most especially if the couple have conflicts before. Anyway, we can do something to make things go back to normal. As the old saying goes, there is nothing impossible for those who do their part well.

Good luck to your quest on finding love and moving back into love.

Comment #22 Eve (63.176.159.78) - Wed Dec 16 21:37:32 2009

Surely, when we speak to each other we find that we understand a lot more about each other than what we may have even disregarded in the past.

Comment #23 adam (63.176.159.180) - Fri Jan 1 20:07:33 2010

Falling in love again is very easy for one to do. The reason would be that someone may believe that they no longer feel the same love that they had felt in the beginning, but they can easily find that this would not be the case, and it may even happen at the spur of the moment.

Comment #24 Ariel (63.176.159.42) - Wed Jan 20 20:34:26 2010

I have to agree with that. I think the couple are just having a hard time working things out because of this certain word that they called 'pride'. What do they have to do? Admit their mistakes and talk to their partners. Try to have a date, just like what you two are doing before. Go out on movies and have a dinner on a romantic restaurant. There are sure ways to make love go back.

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